Death is only the beginning to a great adventure
by DramioneCullen94
Summary: "Look...at...me" these are the last words that left my lips. I only wanted to see her eyes once more.    This is from Snape's point of view after his death in Deathly Hallows. Will he find peace? or will he forever be left to wonder this excistence alone?
1. My Little Piece of Heaven

_**I'm in a sad mood after watching Deathly Hallows Part 2 so I wanted to make a Fanfiction about my favourite character; Severus Snape. This is a Snily story for all you shippers out there 3 **_

"Look...at...me". These were the last words to ever leave my lips. All I wanted to see were Lily's eyes just once more. If I was going to leave this world for good, I wanted to take a piece of heaven with me because I knew there was no chance of me ever going to heaven. After everything I did in my life, there is not one thing I am proud of. I have hurt, murdered, killed, taunted, discriminated and been cruel to everyone, so if I have to spend the rest of eternity in hell then at least I will have 'her' eyes etched into my brain to help me through it.

My sweet Lily. Every day of my life I just wanted to be with her once more. To hear her laugh, to smell her amazing aroma, to hear her voice. I never wanted to hurt her, or belittle her. I just wanted to be with her but I didn't want her to be taken fun of for being with the likes of me. She was beautiful, funny, clever, unique, kind, and special. What was I? I was nothing. I was born from a loveless relationship into a loveless family. I was never able to have anything brand-new, I wasn't allowed to practice magic, I wasn't allowed friends. I was only able to exist. And then I met Lily. She changed all of that! She changed me. I became more tolerant, understanding of other people and their lives. She taught me that no matter what your blood status you are as equal as anyone else. Back then, everything was so simple and carefree. I can't believe how much my life changed after that summer we spent together. We went to Hogwarts together and then James and his possy of friends came into the picture. Things were never the same. We lost it. One last summer where we were both innocent and then...nothing. We had to grow up so fast. I would give anything to go back to that moment again.

I could feel the life slipping out of me and I took my last breath whilst looking into her eyes. I knew it was coming. The fiery pits of hell were awaiting me. No Lily, no hope, no happiness, nothing but agony for the rest of eternity. Come to think about it, hell is pretty much the life I have just lived. So maybe this won't be as hard as I thought it was going to be. I let my eyes stay shut so I could keep the image of Lily's eyes in my head just a while longer. Then I felt it. The heat on my face, the light penetrating my eyelids and making me squint to block it out. Any moment now I am going to feel my flesh burning and I will be writhing in agony. I was waiting in anticipation for the torture to commence, except this didn't happen. Instead, all I could feel was the heat on my face and complete silence. Then I heard it.

'Sev?...is that you?'

_**This is only a short chapter because I want to see how many of you like it before I write the rest. I have nearly finished the second chapter so if I get enough reviews and hits then I'll update. So please update and tell me what you think?**_


	2. Those Three Little Words

_**Thanks to 'Ani-Padmeforever' for the review. Here is the next chapter so I hope you enjoy 3 **_

'Sev?...is that you?'

Please No! God No! Give me the burning, give me the torture give me emptiness for the rest of eternity but don't give me this! I can't stand being here for the rest of eternity with her disembodied voice all around me knowing I can never have her again. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and put my hands over my ears. I pushed on them as hard as I could in an attempt to block out the sounds of her angelic voice. But to no avail. I could still hear her, every word she spoke I could hear. I didn't want to open my eyes because I didn't want to see where I was.

I just lay there and concentrated on anything I could in order to distract me from her voice. Then to make matters worse, the voice was right next to me.

'Sev...what are you doing'?

I wanted to cry. This was nothing like I had ever endured before. Dying was easier than this, even living was easier than this. Every time I heard her voice it was a reminded of what I couldn't have. It reminded me of what I had thrown away all those years back. Worse than that it was a reminded of the judgement I will face for everything wrong I have ever done.

'Sev?'

There it was again only with more concern in her voice. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I felt the voice caress my face with its hand and then place a hand on my heart. It dawned on me then that voices don't have a physical being by which they can touch you. This means that there must be someone there. I was scared to open my eyes though. What if she wasn't Lily the way I remembered her? What if she was all cut up and bleeding. After all this was hell. It has a nasty way of playing with your mind.

But I really don't care! This could be Lily. I love her. I don't care what she looks like, as long as she's here with me. She spoke to me and befriended me all those years ago when I was nothing special. She showed me with nothing but respect, love and loyalty. I slowly opened my eyes. It was a bright light right above me and I had to squint so not to hurt my eyes. After a few seconds the light disappeared and Lily's face came into focus. Except it wasn't Lily the way I last saw her. She was the 11 year old girl I once met all those years ago. She was kneeling over me. The light she was blocking was the sun.

I just stayed lying down for a few seconds just looking at her beautiful smiling face beaming down at me. I removed my hands from my ears and reached up to touch her. I grabbed the end of her red hair and ran it through my fingers. It was as silky as it had been years ago. I could smell the scent of the strawberry shampoo coming off her hair and then something different. Apples. Like the way our old tree used to smell. The one we would climb for hours in the school holidays and eat all the fresh fruit off it. The scent brings back so many memories. Mostly good. It may have been where I met Lily and where we shared secrets but this is also where I spent the last 2 summer holidays of my school life alone. After I called her a mudblood, she wanted nothing to do with me so she left me. I can't blame her; I was vile for saying that to her after everything she had helped me with.

I sat up then and saw where I was. There were butterflies all around me, our tree was to the right of me on the riverside like it had always been. The sun was shining on the grass that appeared to be dancing in the wind. There was no sound other than the sound of birds singing above us and the odd movement of water from a fish in the river.

"Where am I?' I asked.

I know it was a stupid question as I know where I am but it's not possible! I'm 38 years old, but yet here I am sitting as an 11 year old boy in Spinners End like I did 27 years ago. It's not possible.

'You're in heaven silly' Lily replied giggling at me

'How'? I'm so confused. After everything I did in my life how could I possibly be in heaven?

'You're a good person Sev who just made some bad mistakes'

I opened my mouth to argue but she continued

'I've been watching you from this place for the past 17 years'.

'You've been watching me all this time?' I looked at her with disbelief and she must have seen it.

'Don't look so shocked Sev! I never stopped caring about you. You were my best friend for 5 years before...' she trailed off and I felt instantly guilty.

'Before I called you a Mudblood' I answered looking down at the floor.

'It doesn't matter now Sev! You have made up for that a million times over since I left that world. You have made me so proud to say that I was...am your friend'.

'Why would you ever want to be my friend? I was nothing but rude and mean to you'

'You were only rude to me once and I know why you did it now. You only wanted to keep some strength inside of you. I'm not saying what you said to me didn't hurt but I understand why you did it'.

I was lost for words why would she ever understand? I don't understand myself but then she said something I never thought she would ever say. Those three little words that mean everything to me and that I have been dying to hear for the last 22 years.

'I forgive you'

_**So what did you think? I do have a few more chapters up my sleeve so please tell me what you think and I'll update sooner. **_


	3. Your Heaven

_**Thank You to everyone to reviewed my last chapter! :D Here is the next chapter: D Enjoy!**_

'I forgive you'

How could she possibly forgive me? I ultimately helped kill her. I told Voldemort of her son and so he went after her. If I had just stayed on the 'good side' like she begged me too then none of this would have happened! She would be living her life with James and her son. As much as I hated James, he at least kept Lily safe as best as he could after her fate was sealed by Voldemort. He even died for her! Where was I? Hiding like the coward that I am.

Ever since that fateful day I never dreamed I would ever get a chance to see Lily again, let alone hear those three special words from her. 'I forgive you' means more to me from her than 'I love you'. In love you do not have to forgive anything but now I know she truly forgives me. I just don't understand why?

'Why would you forgive me?'

I just say there looking at her. It makes no sense!

'How can you ask me that Sev?'

'Because I don't understand! Since the day I was born I don't think I have never done anything the right way or carried out a selfless good deed. So why would you forgive me?'

'Never done a selfless good deed?'

She looked at me with a hint of disbelief on her face.

'Since my death you have done nothing but be selfless Sev. You kept my son safe all these years. You fought alongside him in the battle against Voldemort. You put your life in danger everyday that you were undercover as a Death Eater! How can you still be asking me how I forgive you? You ensured that Harry knew he truth about us and you ensured that he knew we loved him very much! I can't ask you for anything more!'

I understood what she was saying but I didn't want to accept her forgiveness because some of the things I did. Some of the horrible his I did, it isn't her right to forgive me.

'I killed innocent people Lily. They didn't deserve to die. And i just stood by and allowed Voldemort and other Death Eaters to kill people.'

'I know you did and I'm not trying to justify that bit but think about it for 2 minutes. They died for the greater good. If they hadn't have died by your hands then they would have died by Voldemort's or the other Death Eaters. At least you killed them quickly! If their death had been left up to them, then I can ensure you that they would have tortured them and made their death as slow as possible!'

'It still doesn't change anything though!'

'It changes everything. You were undercover Sev. You had to follow orders otherwise Voldemort would have killed you. If her had have killed you then you wouldn't have been able to protect Harry to the extent that you did and he would have died and the rest of the Wizarding World would have perished with him. You protected everyone's lives Sev. You protected my son's life! You're not a parent so you can't possibly know how much that means to me but it means more than you can ever know!'

I just lay there looking at her, this time the disbelief on my face. After every bad thing did she genuinely forgives. She must have seen the acceptance of her forgiveness on my face, because she threw her arms around my neck and squeezed me. I was shocked! It took me a few moments to realise what was happening but when it did I hugged her back and allowed my fingers to run through her fiery red hair. A hint of realisation of what I was doing rose up inside of me and I pulled back. Lily looked at me with confusion on her face.

'What about James?' I asked.

She knew what I was asking because she giggled the little giggle she does.

'This is YOUR heaven silly! Only what you want in here can be in here! So James won't appear unless you want him to'.

I smiled! It felt weird to me. The last time I had smiled was when I was with Lily right under this tree in our last school holiday together. And now we're back it just seems to come naturally to me. This was the last place I was ever truly happy and now we're back I can be happy once more. No more pain, no more regret, no more crying, no more hurt, no more nothing. Other than friendship and happiness.

_**Next chapter will be up in the next few days so please review to read more: D**_


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